The KonMari method of decluttering physical spaces took the world by storm. The one where you ask yourself, “Does this spark joy?” It touched on something deeper than clean rooms and nice sock drawers. It allowed us to take control of a little happiness in our daily life. But what about applying the same concept to your life as a whole? What if we took a step back to ask, “Does my reality spark joy?” When you wake up in the morning, are you excited for what your life has in store for you? Do you look forward to your day?
Does Your Reality Spark Joy?
Not so long ago, my reality felt like a joyless wasteland. My life was full of rushing out the door by 6am for an hour-long commute to a job I didn’t like anymore. A job that could easily replace me tomorrow. I had less than healthy friendships and relationships. I faced years of failed side projects and “someday” plans. Two throat surgeries later and I felt like I was barely making it.
I’d have to face the overwhelming fact that my current reality… “did not spark joy.”
And, people? Joy is quite literally my middle name.
Can you fail at your own name? Am I literally a lie? Because I was NOT a joy to be around and my life did not feel like any kind of fun at the time. I hated my name. I hated my life.
The Power of Self-Awareness
We get so wrapped up in all the things we hate. We get so stuck focusing on those things we dislike and despise. We feed the negative so much of our energy, our attention, our time.
What if, instead, we used a bit of that energy to figure out what we love in life? What if we purposefully went searching for where joy is most welcome in our days, in our dreams, in our relationships, and in our minds?
Self-Awareness is About Getting Curious
If we get curious about what joy could look like for us… if we turn that self-awareness muscle inward to search out the little things that feel like magic inside… smelling the metaphorical roses, taking the scenic way, being kind to a stranger, dancing in the kitchen, ordering the good steak…. we might just find we were capable of more joy than we ever knew, all along. We just might find a more authentic version of ourselves along the way.
Recognizing Your Reality
Self-awareness is how you recognize what needs to change and how you can gloriously grow. It involves understanding your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and recognizing how they shape your reality. To be self-aware, you have to get curious and remain open to change. Again and again. You have to be fiercely honest with yourself about the parts of your reality that don’t spark joy. You actually need to be willing to admit there are things sparking horrendous flames burning down any ounce of happiness left in your life… sorry.
I finally realized I was the only one that could put out the dumpster fire that was my life. I didn’t like realizing only I could go fighting the flames I had let burn out of control. But once I truly understood that only I could change how I handled my life, I started seeing I had the power to shape my reality into something completely different.
I Am Radically Responsible For My Own Reality
I am now writing this to you from the top of North Dakota. I’m waving at Canada, literally. I’ve been debating the life of a typical bison rancher with my boyfriend and watching coyotes play in the snow. One totally face planted while sprinting, tongue hanging out like a cartoon and everything. I’m laughing, happy while drinking my favorite iced coffee, going down the road in the passenger’s seat of a semi-truck. They’re shockingly comfy. I revel in the weirdness found in my typical day.
I’ve been thinking about all the little moments I had to choose some small change to my reality to get here. It’s so easy to get lost in the details of the shitty things life seems to throw at us. It’s really, really hard to remember in the heat of the moment that you can choose to take control of some small piece of it.
I have a little phrase I repeat to myself: I am radically responsible for my own reality. Anything I am willing to take total, radical ownership for, I can change. If I become the victim of circumstances, then I believe everything is happening TO me and I can do nothing. When I take radical responsibility for those circumstances, I get to choose how I handle my life. I may not be able to control everything exactly the way I want, but I will see a way forward. I will know I am capable of shaping my reality. I get to choose which flames I let burn and which I put out.
Are you willing to admit It’s time for change?
Because “only YOU can prevent wildfires,” you bold adventurer, you.
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